A/N: Hi everybody! ❤️ Wala lang, nakaisip lang ako ng isusulat, hehe! I didn’t proof read it kaya pasensya na po kayo. Hehe! Hope you are having a great day.
10 years ago.
Martin and I officially became a couple today. He took me to our favourite restaurant – well, we always go to there because it’s near our area. The dinner went well. But this time it felt different. Even though we both know that this relationship happened because of a business deal – tonight felt surreal. The way he looked at me – my gosh, parang matutunaw ako! We held hands for five minutes. I felt a shiver down my spine. I’ve never felt this feeling before. He is giving me butterflies. However, I have to remind myself that I am doing this because of an obligation I have to fulfil. LGC is at stake here. Lahat ng pinaghirapan ni Dad. When I marry Martin, for sure, everything will fall into place. Hopefully.
During dinner, I would catch Martin looking at me. There was sparkle in his eyes. I could tell. Is he really in love with me? Well, if he is… Bakit ba ako kinikilig? He is also extra sweet today. He gave me a bouquet of red roses, a teddy bear, and a box of Godiva chocolates. Good thing I was able to buy him a watch during a quick trip to Hong Kong with Dad last week. I thought of him when Dad was shopping for clothes. These past few weeks, I noticed that my relationship with Martin has improved. At first, it was only Martin who would call or text to say good night. Surprisingly, I’ve been telling him recently to text or call me when he gets home. That way I know he’s safe. Our exchange of messages has gotten longer each day. Lately, we would text each other in the morning when we wake up and sometimes, during lunch. He would always tell me what his ulam is. One time, I was craving for steak. 15 minutes later, he knocked on my door with to-go steak he bought from my favourite steakhouse. I am starting to care for him, although I am having some reservations. I don’t know why. There is one thing I am sure though – Martin is a great guy and he will be a devoted husband.
He dropped me off my house around midnight. The ride home was fast. We didn’t notice kasi busy kami mag-kwentuhan. He’s funny din pala. (
Maybe I should give him a chance, shouldn’t I? I mean, for sure, there are so many ladies wanting to be in my place… He’s handsome. Responsible. Gentleman. Loving. Caring. In addition to being always mabango, hihi. He has the qualities I’m looking for. ) He offered his hand while I was getting off his car. A familiar feeling hit me once again. He looked at me in the eyes. Usually, I would look away to avoid ( any sexual tension) awkwardness… But this time I didn’t. This was the longest time I looked ( intently) at Martin’s eyes. I was captivated by his charm. Then, he kissed me. Gently. It felt so geniune, yet so passionate. We kissed for like… 10 seconds? Martin is my first kiss. I felt giddy. Pero, after that, I ran to our house as quickly as I could. I wasn’t able to say thank you and goodnight. Kilig ba ako? Or am just I afraid to commit?
PS. He texted me. He said he’s sorry for kissing me. Well, honestly… I am not sorry that he kissed me. 🙂
10 years after.
Hi there! It’s been so long! 10 years ago na pala ‘yung huli kong sinulat. Haha! How funny. My last entry was about Martin. Well, my first entry after 10 years is also about him – again.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband. It’s just that, now I’m more comfortable with Martin (since we patched things up), I am starting to have these “what ifs” in my head. Whenever I see Dad, I also remember Martin. I know that he wants Martin to be my husband, but one thing I learned is that hindi natin matuturuan ang puso kung sino ang mamahalin. It just happens.
What if kung si Martin ang napangasawa ko? What if I only had given him another chance? What if I tried trusting him? What if I held on to him? What if I took the risk of loving him?
Seeing him today holding hands with Mona, felt… I don’t know. I am not jealous. I think? But I felt a stab in my heart and I can’t explain why. I honestly wish Martin the best.
I noticed that he is extra handsome today, though.
Mona, I hope you would take care of Martin the way he should be taken care of.
The way I should have done.